Well, BatDog went to the Vet today and has been returned to us in a state that can only be likened to "drunk." It was quite amusing at first. Drunken BatDog is a sight to be seen. If she could talk she would have been asking me to drive her drunk-ass to White Castle and then hold her paws so she could do a keg-stand. The Vet drugged her up REAL GOOD to trick her into compliance. She normally loves the Vet, because she loves everyone who gives her that much attention... but today was different. Today she was given the good drugs because she got the procedure to make her forever baby-free. BatDog just lost her mama-card and got spayed, per our request. Thank the Lord, because we have white carpets and BatDog in heat does not mix with white carpets well. As darling as it would be to have teeny-tiny little batdogs running around, I am not prepared to deal with the mess. We got a dog because we are not ready for kiddos, thank you very much.
Side story: Our home has a basement. The stairs leading to the basement are surrounded by wooden spindles of some sort and not a full-fledged wall. The Hubs, due to his love and concern for BatDog, had placed her dog bed right next to said spindles after he fed her dinner. He wanted to allow her to rest while in close proximity to her Supreme Master (BatDog does not listen to me worth shit, only to the Hubs - but I still maintain she loves me more because I give her more cuddles). End Side Story.
I told you the side story so I could tell you this story:
I was previously thinking "BatDog needs to share the good drugs." I now take back that sentiment because not even five minutes after the thought crossed my mind she puked her damn guts out. To my never-ending good fortune she just so happened to puke towards the spindles.... PUKE EVERYWHERE. There was vomit on the dog bed. Vomit creeped up underneath the dog bed somehow. Vomit landed on the floor between the spindles and also managed to sail over the edge in a desperate attempt to cover more ground. Chunky vomit dripped eight feet down the wall (nearest to the bottom of the stairs, for greatest coverage) and the remainder landed in a giant pile on the third to last step. Now I'm a relatively normal person and therefore not a huge fan of cleaning up vomit so.... SOLUTION: Wet/Dry Vac. Those things are an absolutely amazing invention, as is my husband who cleaned up most of the vomit while I comforted my poor, sick BatDog. In my defense I did clean off and put the dog bed through the washer and dryer..... so I didn't actually do NOTHING to help.
Poor BatDog apparently does not handle the "good meds" too well. I'm honestly quite shocked at her reaction actually, since BatDog will not only drink beer, but outright steals it as well. I've seen her knock a full beer right out of my friend's hand so she could lick up the remains. One cannot leave their beer anywhere within her reach because she will find it, knock it over, and drink it all. Every. Stinking. Drop. During a bonfire with friends she pulled her brewskie-ganking on at least three unsuspecting victims. BatDog is underage, so clearly this is not acceptable. She seems to have an alcohol problem. Right now, as a pet my favorite little BatDog, she is passed out in a drug-induced stupor. Do you think they would accept BatDog at AA?
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