Thursday, August 22, 2013

21 Inappropriate Calls to Make at Work

First, I must apologize for being absent from le'blog for far too long. Life happens. Things got very very busy, and now I'm back.

There are certain lines one should never cross while in public, especially when at your place of business. I have found it particularly unnerving that I have witnessed the violation of several of the below prohibited phone calls. I shall not specify which...

My partner in crime assisted me in creating this list of parties to which you should never make a call and/or topics you should never discuss from your work phone:

1. Creditors of your past due bills
2. Phone Sex Operators
3. Your Insurance or cell phone company to yell about their policies
4. A Proctologist on a call which necessitates providing your medical history or a description of the issue that prompted you to call
5. A Gynecologist on a call which necessitates providing your medical history or a description of the issue that prompted you to call
6. Your kid(s) to yell at them. LOUDLY.
7. Your Mother's shrink to have her committed
8. Drug Dealer
9. Hitman
10. Parole Officer for yourself or a relative
11. Prostitute
12. Esthetician to schedule an appointment for butthole bleaching, twat waxing and/or back waxing
13. Nurse hotline for colonoscopy complications
14. KKK related call of any kind
15. Sex offender registration
16. Nurse hotline for vasectomy complication
17. Abortion scheduling
18. Rape Crisis Hotline
19. Suicide Prevention Hotline
20. Maury or Jerry Springer
21. Sex Change Counseling


UPDATED:

22. Any call to the Nurse Hotline which requires use of the word "discharge."

List compiled by the twisted minds of myself and Highlander at Dear Twatwaffle. Copy and paste the url below (the link will not cooperate for sone reason) to visit Highlander! 

http://deartwatwaffle.blogspot.com/?m=1

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